I do as I can to avoid drugs
other than those readily
available to me but
tucked away in some sac
Or gland other hidden
wrinkle of the brain.
A perfectly measured dose
triggered by random
but accessible memories,
a passing fragrance
an old photo
a song on the radio
moms cooking
that one shirt.
let those gaps in the brain
be flooded with the
transcendental ambrosia
our flesh has prepared us.
They traveled the open oceans by the light of the stars
and despite my path being laid clear
as though Siri was reading me the turn-by-turn
I feel lost.
Just as a stone thrown from the trail
becomes buried among the thicket.
A slight miscalculation is a critical error
when your dreams lay among the stars.
The answer must be somewhere,
In my children’s smile,
In the bottom of an empty bottle,
under the flashing lights of some
dark and dingy back room,
with a fake name and cheap perfume.
Madness is one hell of a drug.
From a hospital bed I watched the embers smolder,
from my couch I watched the planet set ablaze.
When I was strong enough to walk again
I couldn’t help but be amazed.
The people were all wearing masks,
separated with gloved hands,
there was fear in every gaze.
Just months ago there was fighting,
a war brewing in the streets.
How will a nation so divided
find its way through this new maze?
The state wants us to stay at home,
to help to “slow the spread”.
The stores are shuttered and bars are closed,
what chaos will this raise?
Around the globe people lay sick and dying,
the great tragedy of our time.
Whatever the answer is I know
I must find clarity through this haze.
This is only the beginning of something
frightening and new,
outside the world is burning darling,
so please hand me another brew.
Did you know?
There was a time when strangers
shook hands every time they met someone new.
That people used to pack themselves shoulder-to-shoulder
in halls and arenas to see a concert or a game.
Did you know?
We didn’t always wear a mask and gloves
when we had to go outside.
There wasn’t always glass between us muffling conversations
at the bank or at the store.
Did you know?
The restaurants used to be so crowded
you could barely hear the people you sat with.
That people gathered in bars to drink and enjoy
the company of people they didn’t know.
Did you know?
It wasn’t always a crime to cough or sneeze in public.
That work wasn’t always done from home.
That movies weren’t always watched on the couch.
Did you know?
That we used to have something called “freedom”.
That we didn’t always have to carry papers proving we were immune,
Or let the government trace our every move.
Did you know?
The news wasn’t always bad.
That you used to be able to visit grandma and grandpa
without being afraid.
That there wasn’t always fear of a kiss or a hug.
Did you know?
That farmers and simple men once fought the largest
army on the globe to give us everything
we surrendered in an instant without a fight.
Did you know?
Are these the questions our children will ask their own?
While they are living life through a screen,
a part of our scared new world?
Did you know?
Within you it breathes,
Beaten but strengthened,
Bloodied but mending,
Tired but restless,
Hidden somewhere behind
Deep-tinted windows,
Basking in what
little light shines through.
What is shattered
is not broken,
But instead
sits in waiting to be built anew.
Open that window,
All ye battered souls,
And feel again
The warmth of the sun.
If you try to go eye to eye with God
He’ll remind you
Of what makes you man,
and Him eternal.
Of how little you can fathom
of the Great Beyond,
And of this pebble in His garden
we are all living on.
That we are nothing more than dirt
given his breath of light,
So that we may rise each day
to put up that good fight.
This understanding of the world
that breaks us down,
Is the weight that He carries
without a frown.
God is that warmth in every embrace,
He is the tides,
the longing in your heart,
and the smile on your face.
He is the strength you find
in your darkest of days,
His guidance will reveal itself
in unforeseen ways.
One day we’ll all meet Him,
in His house we’ll be judged.
Let us try to be better,
For Him, and for us.
We’re like peas in a pod,
with bared teeth
at every unfamiliar sight.
Small only in stature,
with a heart so loving
but willing to fight.
You have helped me through days
even the blind would call dark.
The smiles you bring
when at the squirrels
on the wall you would bark,
have helped me feel warmth
even if only a spark,
to keep this fire burning
when it seemed it to finally be out,
you’re my best friend in the world King,
I can say that without doubt.
Mom says she won’t miss you
That your shedding causes her stress.
I can see her through her bullshit
Without you, she’ll be a mess.
No more scittering nails
against the hard wood floor
The company she doesn’t know she needs
someday won’t be there anymore.
I see your fur turning white now,
your strides no longer abound.
The shade in the grass seems better
than the ball rolling on the ground.
I never want to lose you,
So I’ll pretend you’re never going to end.
But no matter what happens in this life,
King,
you’ll always be my friend.
We walked the streets of some imagined imagined city.
You didn’t hold my hand. You said there was a party down the street.
I told you I didn’t want to go. That if we went we wouldn’t leave together.
You looked me in the eye and told me you didn’t need me anymore. You turned and walked away.
My subconscious knows it now.
Then why is it still so hard for me to accept?
Suburban Youth 