I stay up at night
waiting for something that
will never come.
It’s been so long
most nights I forget
What exactly it is that
I am waiting for
But when I do
And I think of you
My heart feels heavy like lead
Because no longer are you beside me
in my bed
and I miss your smile
your sweet sweet voice
that welling in my chest
that gave me the strength
to take on the world,
just you and me.
For so long I felt like I did not belong.
And then one day I realized I don’t belong anywhere.
That is, any one place.
For some of us will never settle.
Easily bored by the mundane, we constantly are left searching for those things in life that truly make us feel alive.
A young man and his date are sitting together in a Mexican restaurant. This young man has recently lost some weight. When the waiter takes an order for the first round of drinks, the man eagerly hands over his ID, proclaiming, “That’s me! Just twenty pounds heavier!” This all being done in a lame attempt to somehow impress the girl sitting across from him.
The waiter studies the ID for 7 long, uncomfortable seconds. He hands the man his ID back, saying, “I’d say 10,” before turning a shoulder and walking away.
One of the main reasons I created this blog would be to have a place to display my stories and projects. What projects you might ask?
This explanation requires some backtracking…
I love movies. In my eyes, film is the perfect art form. It combines all elements of art and produces masterpieces…some of the time. Unfortunately, those in control in Hollywood have become so befuddled by their own desire to make money, that much of what the average consumer can see in their local theater is only a small step above a heaping pile of shit. Thankfully, there still exists a group of people who are determined to continue sharing beautiful pieces of film with the world, independent filmmakers. This does not go to say that there are no longer any big shots in Hollywood that produce great films. Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino, Peter Jackson, The Coen Brothers, Christopher Nolan…the list could go on for longer than I am willing to type. In fact, shitty movies are hardly ever the fault the artists at hand. The money hungry production seem to be the ones that have given rise to the endless sequels, receptive comedies, and flat-out boring melodramas that flood our theaters every week. I could rant for pages about what I call “Hollywood Bullshit”, but that would be moving away from the point of this post.
Back to my projects. I am currently finishing my first year at California State University, Long Beach, an institution I entered with the intention of pursuing a career in the sciences. It only took me one semester of strictly sciences classes to realize that the lack of creativity and passion involved in thermochemistry and the categorization of living organisms would soon drive me insane. It wasn’t the science of Biology I was interested in, it was aesthetics of Life. My mistake.
So I took the advice of every great man and woman before and began to study the thing I am most passionate about. Now I am enrolled in the College of Arts, with a goal of attaining a Bachelor’s degree in Film and Electronic Arts. The same degree held by Steven Spielberg. I guess my only issue is that I really have never explored making my own films, and quite frankly I really don’t know where to begin. Finally, this where my projects fall into place. This will be the home of the things I begin to film. So this blog is not only my perspective, but a beginning to what I hope will be the rest of my life, and that really is a terrifying thought.
” I dream for a living.”